Did you know that research has proven that people’s beliefs and expectations of you actually influence your results?
(Maddux & Gosselin 2012)
So your cheer leading squad, can really be the difference that makes all the difference to your success.
For example, imagine you’ve had a set back…. do the voices and behaviours of people around you help you figure out what to change and encourage you to try again? Or do they commiserate, sympathise and help you lower your expectations.
Both sets of people may love you dearly and want you to be happy!After all, love has nothing to do with someone’s beliefs or expectations about you!!
Maybe they want to save you from the being disappointed.
But remember no disappointment could be worse than finding out too late, that if you’d just given it another shot, you’d have achieved everything you wanted.
Even when people say they support you, their choice of words, responses and actions can often give clues to the opposite.
This can do as much, if not more damage than someone voicing their negative expectations of you.
So to really give your self belief a chance aim to surround yourself with people who:
– Expect you to do well.
– Shout encouragement when you’re close to giving up
– Hold you to a higher standard.
– Encourage you to persevere
– Believe in you even when your faith in yourself waivers.
Because just one person’s belief in you can be enough to help you weather the storm.
One person can be a lighthouse for you.
Who lovingly challenges you and won’t let you settle for less than you deserve or less than you desire. Someone who refuses to give up on you even when you’re full of self sabotage and doubt!
It’s ok to hire an expert to do that for you until you find someone who will do it for free!
Whether it’s a personal trainer that goes above and beyond or a breakthrough coach like me or a private maths tutor, a second or third opinion from someone who believes you will beat the odds or a private midwife or a business consultant….
just find someone who believes in you and your ability to achieve your goal, whatever that goal is.
When you find your lighthouse, the person who does it for free,
- even when you give them a hard time,
- even when you push them away,
- who challenges you even when it would be easier to say nothing,
- who gets taken for granted and still believes in you,
Grab hold of them and never let them go!
I found my lighthouse
I married him!
JESSICA REED-ROBBINS
Breakthrough coach and motivational speaker.
If you’d like to know more about working with me as a coach or if you’d like to discuss a keynote speech on belief and expectations, how to change your own beliefs about people or their beliefs about you, please email me at jess@reedrobbins.co.uk to arrange a call.
Observations on life, love, health and personal evolution 